How It Is Like Being Married to an American

Yolanda Tarter
is in United States

A little bit 4 years of marriage and yet still family, friends, and relatives ask me how it is like being married to a foreigner. It is much like a big decision to me that married to an American and move here in English speaking country is totally brand new to you, it was different of where you used to and its like overwhelming. When first got here, I was amazed of the scenery that I have seen only in the Television or in the movie. Everything was new that made me think I am in the new world. Every now and then mostly people smiling at you and you smile back to them and some of them they are not very friendly at all, they just look at you from head to toe. I had so much fun in my few 6 months to stay here in the United States and then slowly down to melancholy sort of things that you really miss home and your family and friends. I wish that they could see and enjoy of what I've experienced. Then you start wishing to go back home or at least get some vacation even for a month or less. I was Homesick after 6 months later of not being seeing with your mother and family. I fought that feelings knowing that we couldn't afford to visit for a family that time. I started to learning myself of being far away from home and be tough for my new life and new beginning. When I decided to get married my new chapter of my life begins so i have to live the life that i've choose. Having a foreign husband every day is an adventure to me, you know why? because you will never know whats gonna happen next. For everyday that you see him you are dealing with a personality, attitude, up-bringing, cultures, languages, ideas, opinions, decisions, fun and laughter, his ups and downs mode, the whole person he is. There is so much differences that needs to be reconsidered in your union. You have to adjust to one another. There is a lot of listening, reasoning, you have to speak up your mind just to get your point to him without hurting to others feelings. It is not easy to handles peoples who is different race especially when a lot older than you. Everyday, every minute and every time you talk to your foreign husband you have to rest assure that you have to pay attention of what he said or else that is out of respect to them and when you talk to them you have to make eye contact. One thing that i really like about in their culture is you really know the spirit of independence that you never had back home. I enjoy from his culture and he is enjoying mine having an unique close family ties that he never was had. I've gratefully adopted the good food, great wine and Mediterranean sunshine. We are learning each other differences but I guess it's easier for us Asian to adapt to Western customs since we have early exposures to it (TV, music, media, Etc.) There is nothing impossible and difficult in dealing with differences if both of you has these words Love, Respect and Listen to one another. I do believe love and marriage is a Gods gift regardless what color of the skin, age gap and religion what most important is that the two of you are meant for each other.

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Yolanda Tarter

United States , Washington , Vancouver

 

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